What makes what Jewish, you ask? You know – “it” – when people say, “That’s not Jewish.” Or, “This is Jewish.” Anything. A work of art, a wardrobe, a practice, a theology, a political opinion. What is Jewish? For the Orthodox, it is anything part of an Orthodox lifestyle, and excludes what is not part of an Orthodox lifestyle. For a secular Jew, maybe it’s education and achievement, or familiar holidays, or donating to Greenpeace. For many it is reverence for Israel, although increasingly Jews on the Left don’t share that feeling.
What is “Jewish culture”? Because obviously, there are many cultures that identify as Jewish, each with their own communities, languages, food, rituals, customs, and priorities. What do they have in common? Is it looking at life in the context of an historical continuum? Is it about being part of an extended family tribe? Is it a perspective based on shared trauma? Is it a collection of stories and traditions that form a value system? How do you know it when you see it, other than that the participants themselves call it Jewish? Is anything a Jew does automatically Jewish by definition?
I can see how the Orthodox can gain market share simply by having a clear answer to this question, by being consistent, and by knowing where they stand. Their existence is evidence that a definition of Jewishness is possible. Whether is it one I can agree with is another issue. The other denominations strike me as somewhat vague. Secular Jewish identity is even more so.
When I was a child and was told that by Jewish law I’m Jewish, that meant something. What exactly it meant I didn’t know, but clearly it had significance. In the move toward inclusiveness, the definition of “Jewish” has been expanded to include interfaith families, children of Jewish fathers, and converts. I support this change while recognizing that chaos is an unavoidable part of shifting boundaries. Why do I support it? If certain ideas benefit me, there is no good reason why those ideas should not be made available to others who could also be helped by them. I believe Judaism is about the values we seek to embody, not our ancestry.
I used to think I was the only one who was confused, but the more I witness, the more I realize most Jews identify as Jewish because it’s how they grew up. Conversion, therefore, strikes me as both difficult and miraculous. How can anyone leave behind huge chunks of life experience? Or do they? How much does any of us change over the course of a lifetime?
Update (May 12): Amazing article in Moment for which I am grateful, answering this very question!
Here’s a lame answer, but one that’s probably true, suitably interpreted (like most of later Wittgenstein). For something to be Jewish is to have a family resemblance to other Jewish things. By the way, that’s not circular, even if it looks like it.
There’s no definition of ‘Jewish’ any more than there’s a definition of the term ‘game’. Maybe there are things that are Jewish in an exemplary way. But which things those are are reasonably disagreed about. Reading that article you linked to, Israel was the most obvious of such controversial exemplars of Jewishness.
I don’t agree that a definition of Jewishness is possible any more than a definition of ‘life’ or ‘person’ is possible, at least if ‘definition’ means a set of necessary and sufficient conditions that is intensionally equivalent to the conventional meaning of a term. What is possible is a stipulation. And that’s what Orthodoxy has done – they’ve stipulated what it is to be Jewish. If a group stipulates that a term will have certain meaning, and lots of other people follow the stipulation, it can become a convention, which begin to resemble a definition. But conventions can be resisted.
Some stipulations are just, however, and so worth following. I just “found out” that I’m not Jewish according to Reform and Reconstructionist standards. According to them, I need to perform a suitable public act, as directed by a Rabbi. I’d always parroted the Orthodox line – I was Jewish, at least relative to halacha. So, until I perform such an act, as directed to a Rabbi, I’m going to say that I’m not Jewish (despite having a Jewish mother), although I intend to become so. It makes sense to me that there should be some level of commitment involved. I’m going to insist on this stipulation, even if someone insists I’m wrong. I’ll direct them to Reform Movement’s Resolution on Patrilineal Descent. If the don’t like that, it won’t be for reasons of insufficient clarity.
I see what you mean, but my issue was always that – with or without a “statement of commitment” – anti-Jewish bigotry still has an impact on my life. While I am currently studying “as if” converting, I feel I am already “really” Jewish. I share the fate of “the Jewish people” whether I want to or not.
This is a dynamic that the Reform movement doesn’t acknowledge. When I approached the Reform movement, it was very painful for me to learn they don’t recognize me as a Jew. (That being said, I didn’t learn much about Judaism in Reform settings, so it is just as well. In my experience, the Orthodox have a much deeper understanding of Talmud and spiritual practices. Currently I am studying with a Renewal rabbi who seems to offer the best of both worlds – a liberal awareness of modernity, coupled with a genuine spiritual orientation.)
I sort of agree with you about the bigotry. But that cuts both ways. I’ve had far more unpleasant experiences involving Jewish peers and parents deeming me a bad Jew, with a traitorous mother, than I had with anti-semitic non-Jews, at least directly. There’s layers of anti-semitism, couched in ignorance, on the other side of my family too. But they were far less outspoken.
The fate of the Jewish people stuff also has to do with conventions. White supremacists and anti-semites have conventions about who is Jewish. Orthodox Jews have different conventions. Which is important, depends on who has power in a given situation. Neither you nor I can help it whether we’re a Jews or not to any of them. My daughter, my wife, much of my family, and many of my friends are considered Jews by all of them. My mother is from Israel, and I have aunts and cousins still there. I share their fate regardless of how I identify myself. By identifying myself as non-Jewish (yet!) but of Jewish descent, I’m not hiding. I’ve heard the coward/collaborator/self-hater argument too many times not to have developed immunity.
I can only assume that we had different experiences. I grew up with Jewish friends whose parents considered children of intermarried families the victims of a silent holocaust, and Rabin as the ultimate traitor. At the time, I would rather be living and other than dying and Jewish. I can understand how the Reform policy is painful to you, but it’s liberating to me – I can come to Judaism on my terms. I’ve had too much experience with Orthodox Jews playing both sides of the tribal card – to attract or insult – to have much interest in their views.
As for Renewal vs. Reform practice, I agree with you that Reform practice is lacking, although I don’t think it’s because it’s not genuinely spiritual. I don’t find the spiritual style of Unitarians compelling either, but it’s not because it’s not genuine.
The only Renewal Rabbi I know in Brooklyn splits time between a Chaplaincy and a Conservative shul, and I’ll meet him this Saturday, I think. I’ve been reading Reb Zalman’s books, but I’m a practical neophyte. Fortunately, there’s an unaffiliated shul nearby that, apparently, has a Renewal “flavor”. The service I went, ran by the Cantor, was a blast, but I haven’t met the Rabbi, yet, due to her summer vacation.
Well, whatever works, you know? When I was a kid I was supposed to keep my Jewishness secret, and got weird vibes from the other side of the family. I’ve heard a lot of “you’re a Jesus-killer” type comments, and also have seen an unattractive tribalism on the Jewish end of the spectrum. I’ve witnessed a double-standard in Reform settings – where someone with two Jewish parents is deemed Jewish, even if they’ve never set foot in a synagogue in their lives, but someone with one Jewish parent in the same situation is not considered Jewish.
But as you say, there is nothing we can do about the opinions of others. I know what I want, so I just keep learning. I’ve learned idiots come in all denominations, so am taking the idiocy of others far less personally than I was, say, a year ago. I’m also taking it as less representative of the denomination in question or religion in general. My policy is similar to yours: I learn what I can from those willing to share, take what I like, and leave the rest. Ultimately, engaging with Judaism is a personal and mostly private choice anyway.
I hope you find a comfortable and receptive community, if that is what you’re looking for. In any case, I highly recommend the books of Rabbi Dr. Arthur Segal – the Handbook to Jewish Spiritual Renewal and A Spiritual and Ethical Compendium to the Torah and Talmud.
That double standard you mention is really troubling. It was my impression that there were two steps (i) presumed descent (matrilineal, patrilineal, or both), then (ii) suitable public act. I thought all people of presumed descent were treated the same. Seems that was wishful thinking. When I talk to Rabbis, I’m going to ask for their opinions on that. Thanks.
I will check out Rabbi Segal’s book. I’ve read some of his Torah study posts on his blog, but I found the format and feed difficult to follow.
As for liturgy and songs – I’m trying to collect together DIY resources our family to do Friday night prayers and songs. The URJ has an organized site with text and audio, but – like you said – it seems stale to me (Friday night should be fun, no?). My wife, who grew up in a large Reform Synagogue, knows these. I’ve been digging around for more, but it takes so much time to search out text, corresponding melodies etc., etc. Do you have any suggestions for resources or stuff you find more compelling? If so, would you mind emailing me at shabbatdabbler AT gmail DOT com?
Have a great Shabbat!
I think there is quite a range of opinions out there with regard to who is a Jew, From what I’ve seen, there is a certain amount of ethnic prejudice even in the Reform movement, despite the claim that Judaism is only a religion. Ultimately we each have to decide for ourselves who we are and what that means. I went through a period of asking the opinions of others and finally settled into study with someone who thinks the only opinion that counts is God’s.
Rabbi Segal’s website is, indeed, a bit of a mess – which is unfortunate because he offers insight on the spiritual and ethical dimensions of daily life, shabbat, and holidays. If you contact him directly, he may be willing to put you on the mailing list for his class. For that he sends out a weekly D’var Torah and the chapters of his other book.
I will be starting a series on this blog soon in which I will outline what I’ve learned about the holidays. There is a lot of truly amazing stuff in the Talmud, which we hardly ever hear about in mainstream liberal Jewish circles.
As for Shabbat, I don’t know the songs or formal liturgy aside from the candle-lighting blessing. I’ve never been to a traditional (aka Orthodox) shabbat dinner, but I’ve learned we don’t need to know Hebrew or recite prayers as if incantations in a magical language. They say “God wants the heart.” Intention is more important than the language we speak. You can probably find numerous English versions of what is said to use as a point of departure. My own shabbat observance is thus far limited to cleaning the house (the home is supposed to be our sanctuary), lighting the candles, putting out flowers, maybe having a special meal and/or baking challah. It’s a day when traditionally we are supposed to avoid certain things – you know the prohibition against “work,” which in Orthodox circles is quite a long list of things to avoid, but for me usually means staying off the Internet, not watching TV, not shopping or spending money, reading the Bible or other Jewish texts, and ignoring secular concerns. Most people read the Torah portion of the week and discuss it over dinner.
Rabbi Segal’s book on Torah and Talmud analyzes every Torah portion. Rabbi Joseph Telushkin also has a book called Biblical Literacy in which he explains each section. I recommend the Abraham Heschel book The Sabbath, which discusses the concept of “holiness in time.” For music, I have a CD called “Shabbat for Starters,” which I think was put out by Chabad, and is a recording of men singing – I find it atmospheric but it’s different enough that a lot of people probably wouldn’t like it (as in all things musical, a matter of taste.) I think Rabbi Segal would say the main thing is to welcome friends into your home, spend time with your family, and discuss the ethical dimensions of Torah. This is easier to do if you have Talmudic explanations for what goes on in the Bible, there being a distinction between the practices of the Hebraic cult and the oral tradition and teachings of the Rabbis which were not recorded until circa 200 BCE. Judaism is based on the Talmud, not the Bible. Most people don’t know that.
Shabbat shalom
Hi you two …may I join in (with my mish-mash of thoughts)?
Seems like the original title of this string was “What Makes it Jewish?” which has turned into a “who is a jew?” .
I think most thoughtful half-breeds have their answer to this dilemma and so these discussions never really change anyone’s mind. All the points that both of you make are rational. That said, religion and culture are not (i.e. rational); they are full of customs that people adhere to (or not).
I think both Orthodox and Reform approaches (to defining who is a Jew) make sense in that they are both (the way I see it) attempts to make sure that a child is raised Jewish. The matrilineal rule was probably installed because men come and go in a woman’s life but the children will likely stay and grow up with her and thus be raised in her traditions. The Reform people take it one step further (to be a little more inclusive) and say that as long as the child is raised Jewish it doesn’t matter which parent delivers the genes. Genes are genes (fragments of DNA), but how we are raised has a big impact on how we regard ourselves. Conversion is simply a formality (a ceremonial affirmation). You make up for some learning (that you didn’t get growing up) and then go through a small ceremony. I think the mistake people make is in overinterpreting the significance of it, taking the word “conversion” literally and thinking that a person going through it will be suddenly transformed into something that he/she was not before. Far from it!
Embracing Judaism and its traditions is a journey, a life-long learning process. There is no sudden transformation. If I do this, I will still be me when it is over. I will still think the same things and I won’t be perfect Jew (whatever that is) .
I believe that if I am on the “outside” coming in, I’m not about to try to change the way people do things (on the inside), unless I’m looking to be by myself. I haven’t had any bad experiences. No one has treated me poorly. But my father had anti-semitic experiences and thus made the conscious decision to not let us be raised Jewish. He did not want us to have the burden (as he saw it) of a Jewish identity.
I also think the perfect shul or denomination won’t exist. Mostly you make do with what is in your neighborhood since no one has time to travel. I have attended the Reform shul down the block from my place of work in Brooklyn Heights…….. David, I am wondering where in Brooklyn you attend.
They have a class on conducting Shabbat in the home that I want to take. Surely I could anticipate all the things they would teach … but I just want to interact more with the people there. I also like this common sense modernized version referenced on the Jewish Outreach Institute homepage.
Sabbath manifesto http://www.sabbathmanifesto.org/
The Ten Principles
• 01. Avoid technology.
• 02. Connect with loved ones.
• 03. Nurture your health.
• 04. Get outside.
• 05. Avoid commerce.
• 06. Light candles.
• 07. Drink wine.
• 08. Eat bread. (I might not always do this.. since bread is my weakness… hee hee)
• 09. Find silence.
• 10. Give back.
————————————
I like to think of the question “What Makes it Jewish?” by comparing Judaism and Jewish customs to other religions, rather than between the Jewish denominations. I think it is important for people of different Jewish denominations to be more accepting of each other. There’s too much in-fighting…. and sadly it won’t go away soon.
well… more later,
robin
Hi Robin,
I agree with what you are saying, although I have to tell you, when I complete my “conversion” process (or introductory-level study) I sure as hell hope I’m not still the same person! LQTM (laugh quietly to myself.) Because if I wanted to stay the same, I wouldn’t be on a spiritual path. I need to change.
We should be kind, supportive, welcoming, and accepting toward other groups, even of those denominations we don’t relate to so well, or would not personally choose. I like what you say about defining Judaism against other religions and abandoning the infighting, but it probably won’t stop, as you say – at best we can just not engage in infighting ourselves. My way to avoid that is to stay away from communities with a divisive energy or focus, where there is Jewish chauvinism of one sort or another. It’s good if you’ve found a setting where you feel comfortable. A lot of people join synagogues because they want to socialize, but that is not what I’m looking for.
I guess that saying “I will still be me” (i.e. after ‘conversion’) is a matter of interpretation. Like you, I am on a spiritual journey. I’ve been on that (on and off in intensity) for some time. Embracing Judaism and my Jewish self is just a different direction and a more recent one. Like an ocean liner changing course, it will take time to start moving steadily in that direction.
But as you have said, I will not be cutting off ‘huge chunks’ of myself or my past experiences. Rather, I am building on top of that foundation, i.e. my core self, the influence my family and how I was raised, my personal and work related interests. If I go to a psychotherapist because I want to change a negative or harmful behavior (an extreme analogy perhaps), I ‘m guessing that the first thing we do is dig down into my past to understand why I do what I do and then use that as a basis for change. But I can’t change the past. I am still me at the core. But “me” will now start moving in a different direction..
I plan to get those books you have recommended to David. I think they will help. Thanks for the references.
But again, “conversion” is just a word. Other religions use it. They could have chosen another. I see conversionary learning as lifelong. The ocean liner keeps going and the longer and faster and more steadily it travels in that new direction, the less likely it will go off course.
I read a story, on the Interfaith Family website (I think) about a women who went through a conversion process at some synagogue. And she seemed surprised and saddened (maybe) by the fact that she didn’t feel more ‘Jewish’ after she was done. What was she expecting?
I love the saying: “wherever you go …there you are…” (or something like that)…. hee hee.
well… more later…. Good shabbos to you! since it is friday.